Yuki's diary
by Hinabisitka
Summary: This is yuki's diary. the title says it all. Yuki loves...well he thinks he knows, also there's been a death in the family. Yuki knows the killer, but will he ever say who it is? Read and find out!
1. Page 1

I dont own fruits basket. if i did every yaoi fan would go to heanev and come back to earth...yeah that cool.

Yuki's diary page one

Dear diary,

Today was relatively good. Today in class we had to write a poem about the person we love and give it to them. In order for nobody to be embarrassed by this sensei* said for everybody to put on a blindfold of some sort. So when a person's name was called nobody would make fun when they got their poem. This was mine.

**Life again**

By: Yuki Sohma

_'I sit alone_,

_Begging for your forgiveness._

_I am not only but a drone_

_Awaiting for you to once again caress my face._

_I think you're amazing,_

_Yet I claim I hate you every day._

_My skin is pale,_

_While yours is tanned._

_I wait patiently,_

_For you to crawl up to me._

_So I can hold you,_

_And look into those eyes of inferno._

_But it is not so,_

_Unlike me you hate the snow._

_You like the summer,_

_Your spirit is flaming with power,_

_And your kindness shows like an ember._

_Others may not always see it,_

_But I know it's there._

_I hope you know,_

_The way I feel about you._

_Always and forever I will hope for you the best of outcomes,_

_Near or far._

_Rejection or none,_

_I hope you'll keep me as yours,_

_And treat me as one.'_

So when People's names were called to read the poem aloud they were given directions to not say the writer's name. When it was Kyo's turn to read, he stood up, and tore it to shreds. Nobody questioned him really. It was just like him. To rip something up that he didn't like was wasn't pleased with.

That Baka Neko really does know how to drive people crazy with their own emotions. When said was done sensei told Kyo to stay after class and pick up the pieces. As well to find the person in the class and apologize for ripping up their writing.

"Why should I apologize to that damn rat?" there he goes. Everybody's attention was on me at that point. So I stood up, walked over to him, flicked his nose. "Stupid cat." I then proceed to pick up the pieces of paper at his feet and toss them in the recycling bin and sat back down in my seat. Waiting for further instructions. Sensei looked at me with a blank stare as did everybody else. Well, except for Kyo who looked like he was about to burst into flames.

Oh well I'm just glad that the day is almost over and that I'll be asleep soon.

Sincerely,

Yuki sohma.


	2. Page 2

I don't own fruits basket or the song that is mentioned. You also might want to look up the song on VEVO. The slower version is better.

Page 2

Dear Diary,

I personally think its bad enough that everybody figured out that I like Kyo yesterday. Not only that but we had to sing today in class.

The wonders that happened today…how they all happened I'm not so sure, but I am now very aware to the fact that the girls in my fan club are more tone deaf then a deaf person…and that's saying something. Sadly we had to write a song and then give it to the person behind us for them to sing. As for the people in the front row got to write two songs and perform one of them. Kyo and I both happen to sit in the front row. But there was a catch to writing two different songs. One of them had to be about our crush and the other about ourselves. There was also an option to get together with a few other people and create a band. Which is what Kyo did. I however was one of the many soloists. Many of the soloists could not sing…AT ALL.

What I didn't know is that Kyo could sing very well. I have to say he is very talented. The song his band performed was called 'Christmas shoes'. I however was forced by the peer pressure of the people around me to do my song about myself (seeing that we had an eruption from Kyo yesterday.). When it was my turn to go up I saw Kyo roll his eyes at me and look away in disgust.

Here was the song I sang…

(Yes it was mandatory to change our names for this.)

'I'm in here' By: Sia.  
_I'm in here, can anybody see me?  
Can anybody help?_

I'm in here, a prisoner of history,  
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?  
Are you coming to get me now?  
I've been waiting for,  
you to come rescue me,  
I need you to hold,  
all of the sadness I cannot,  
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something,  
Can anybody help?

I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear,  
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?  
Are you coming to get me now?  
I've been waiting for,  
you to come rescue me,  
I need you to hold,  
all of the sadness I cannot,  
Living inside of me.

I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,  
I am fearing it all,  
Stuck inside these walls,  
Tell me there is hope for me  
Is anybody out there listening?

Can't you hear my call?  
Are you coming to get me now?  
I've been waiting for,  
you to come rescue me,  
I need you to hold,  
all of the sadness I cannot,  
Living inside of me.

Can't you hear my call?  
Are you coming to get me now?  
I've been waiting for,  
you to come rescue me,  
I need you to hold,  
all of the sadness I cannot,  
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, can anybody see me?  
Can anybody help? 

That was my song…that I sang…Like a girl. I have a naturally high voice anyways…So I guess it doesn't matter. Oh well,

I don't really feel like writing the rest of today down. Except for that my peers were gawking at me as I left the class room with tears streaming down my face. Even Kyo was staring at me. The Ice Prince is now the teary-eyed princess!

I hear Honda-san coming…Goodnight.

Sincerely,

Yuki Sohma.__


	3. Page 3

Dear Diary,

I guess Today was Semi-good. I am actually really happy with how today went considering that it's a weekend right now

Well, Shigure and Honda-san went out today, scarily enough they are not together…Anyways while those two were gone Kyo came up to me and asked if he could talk to me about something he thought was particularly important.

Me being the coo coo for his being cocoa puffs I said sure with my head hanging a little bit thinking that we were gonna talk about yesterday and the day before.

I was right but, it was a better conversation then I thought it would be. Kyo was really cute as he fumbled with his fingers a bit as he told me the sweetest thing I've ever heard him say! He said that he really liked my poem and song despite how strange the subject of 'love' was to him. He said that he had only yelled out two days ago because he wanted to help me by getting my fan-girls to start leaving me alone. I must say I felt really good to hear him say these things. And I thanked him and asked him if there was anything else he wanted to tell me or say to me.

I must say that I was definitely not expecting what happened next.

He KISSED ME! KYO KISS ME!

I swear it's a miracle because I was convinced that he hated me for the longest time. And it also turns out how his always being angry is just a mask so people don't see that he's mostly a pretty happy guy. Damn! He's so hot! But then again I wonder what will happen if Akito finds out…Will she laugh or will she be pissed and put us in our 'respective' places?

Shit now I'm scared…. But for the rest of the day Kyo and I experimented with one another to see how we acted with different sensations. Apparently one of my sweet spots is the crook of my neck and one of Kyo's sweet spots is right behind his ear. Right where the jaw opens at the slight corner of the skull.

Kyo made the most adorable mewling sound as I kissed him there softly and get this, he started to purr! God damn he is so precious and he's all mine. Nobody can have him. And Nobody but Kyo will have me.

Forever and ever I hope tomorrow is as good as it was today. Goodnight.

Yuki


	4. Page 4

Ideas help a lot! Hooray for the people who leave lovely comments!

Dagger The Wolf- Don not worry I shall put in a twist! I am no yet done!

* * *

-Dear Diary,

Tomorrow Kyo-kun, Honda-san, and I go back to school. I'm dreading the thought of it.

But as far as today goes I got really confused. Kyo acted completely different today…

He said he loved me…was he lying? I don't know…I certainly hope not.

I need Kyo to mean it when he says "I love you Yuki." And when he smiles at me, I need him to understand that if he's toying with me I won't be able to take it. I love him so much. But then again maybe I'm just in and over my head.

Maybe I am just worrying too much. God what's wrong with me?

Oh well,

I guess If he's just toying with me He'll tell me. I miss him already and he's only across the hallway. Too Bad Shigure and Honda-san are here. If they weren't I would be all over Kyo.

But sadly that won't happen… hold on I hear footsteps…

Okay they are gone now. It was Shigure he wanted to know if I was studying or something because my light is on. I don't what else there is to say diary….

Hell, if I could just go back in time and change my fate I would…But I can't.

I wish Kyo would show that he loved me. Outside of when we're alone.

Fuck, I'm even thinking of going over to Aya-nii's place so I can talk to him about it. I really don't know what I should do. I need to talk to somebody about this!

Should I just wait for things to play out? Is Kyo going to get even worse to me tomorrow at school? What the hell is going to happen? I need to know. I honestly don't think that I could take another outburst from my precious Kyo-kun. Do you think I should write a song or poem about it? Or something…

I don't know…should I hang tight? Should I confront him? What should I do!

I'm sorry I'm starting to cry on you diary. I wish all my worries would just fade away.

Hakuna Matata right? Ha ha ha. I made a reference to a movie I saw when I was little, hooray for childhood memories right. And hooray for sarcasm. Anywhos I do really need to get some sleep…

But I shall write on into the horizon! I don't think I should become a comedian….

Damn, now I kind of know what Kagura feels like. But what would happen if Akito found out?

Maybe that's why Kyo is still acting like he still hates me… That makes a lot more sense. I really do hope that, that's my Pretty Kitty's reasoning. Oh dear, if Kyo ever found you and read you I would be destitute! I certainly hope that doesn't happen. ;)

Goodnight,

Yuki Sohma

* * *

If you could leave a response that would make me really happy and it would get me to write sooner!


	5. Page 5

Dear Diary,

Ever since yesterday Kyo has been acting really weird.

I confronted him about it last night when he snuck into my room. He said something along the lines of "Well, I don't really want people knowing that we're together yet."

So? I asked him why.

"Are you really that stupid Yuki? You really want that damned dog to find out and tell Akito? Is that really what you want? Honestly Yuki…" He trailed off, but I could tell what he was getting to.

If Akito found out she would probably lock us both away. Me into that dark painted room, and Kyo into his cage…his cage…that's where he has to go if he doesn't defeat me after graduation.

Oh Kami-kun, whatever will I do?

Shit now I'm worried :'(

Maybe because I'm one of Akito's favorites, she'll listen to me? I guess I can give it a try…

Or, I might be able to persuade Shigure into doing it for me. Seeing that he can take most of her blows. Well, that, and I wouldn't want Kyo-kun to worry too much about. Hah, I bet I can get him so worked up that he'll be like Miss Honda one day…Then again maybe that's not really a good thing…

Yeah, maybe not.

I guess I could give it a try. That's It! I'll talk to Shigure tomorrow morning! Yay! So far everything is unraveling the way I planned it! Hoorah!

I love it when these things happen! But …what if Shigure says no…what will I do? Get Hatori-Sama to do it?

No. I don't want him to get hurt. After all, he did basically take care of me while I wasn't in that darkened room…

Not Aya-nii's either. Not him. I wouldn't want him to get hurt. I know I sound crazy, but then again I've heard him blab onto Shigure when I was in my room. Sure, a lot of it was about Hentai, but when I really started to listen in I heard Aayame-nii say something like "I feel so bad, what do I do about him? What do I say? How do I come up to him?" But then again he could have also been talking about Hatori. Aayame-nii has had a ridiculous crush on him for a long time now.

I'd be surprised if Hatori didn't already know about it.

I just don't know what to do diary… Oh Kami, I wish I knew.

But in other news, Haru decided to walk into the boy's locker room. Of course this was after school hours. I had just finished my tennis match. So I was in the shower. I mean, usually when I went in there I changed in a stall because of my scars, but…

We're talking about Haru here! He's loved me ever since he'd laid his eyes upon .

Anyways he walked into the shower; of course I didn't hear him come in because I was too focused on getting myself clean. Anyways he came up behind me…naked.

When I felt his body heat there I tried to quickly turn around, but he was faster…Ahh shit.

I knew I had myself in a pretty bad predicament. So, I screamed like a little girl. Finally a STRAIGHT student came in and tore Haru off of me and helped to clean me back up.

I gave him my thanks , got dressed as fast as I could, and ran home.

I think it would be safe to say that I just got my breathing back to normal.

I also personally think that's really bad.

Oh, well.

I really don't know what to do Diary. If only you could talk back to me.

Okay, well, I guess it's time for me to go…

But one last thing…

I think that I should say this before I stop writing for tonight.

I'm sorry for anybody of whom I may have upset or anything that might have set anybody off.

I'm sorry.

Sincerely,

Yuki.


	6. Page 6

I do not own fruits basket T-T

Page 6

Dear Diary,

Today we went back to school, and today at lunch I saw something…

It was my pretty Kitty Kyo-kun, he was standing close to Haru next to the boy's bathroom.

I was curious as to what was going on see that Kyo-kun is mine. I also have to say that I can get extremely jealous sometimes.

So, when I saw the two of them enter the bathroom together, I naturally got worried. I waited for the perfect moment when people weren't looking at me and weren't in my way, to go over to the bathroom, just to figure out what was going on between those two.

When I walked in, I couldn't believe what I saw Diary…

Haru had Kyo-kun up against the wall and was making out with him, and here's the worst part: HE WAS MAKING OUT BACK WITH HIM!

So when I saw that, I unintentionally dropped my book bag and my eyes were filling up with tears.

I saw Kyo-kun mutter the words 'OH SHIT' when they heard my book bag drop to the floor Haru turned to me (before I ran away crying) and asked "Awe, Yuki, did you want a turn?"

Can you tell how this might upset me?

Fuck what's wrong with me Diary?

And can you guess what happened next Diary? I ran out of the bathroom crying and I accidentally bumped into the guy that saved me that day when Haru basically attacked me.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." Is what he said. Apparently he noticed that people were staring and he brought me to a more secluded place. Seeing that I was a sobbing mess and that, well, I'll be honest here for a second…I wear eye-liner. Yes I wear make-up, and it was running, badly.

So, he cleaned me up with a few napkins he got from the cafeteria. And he pulled me into a hug…

At first I jumped a little bit, because, let's face it, I'm not used to getting hugs. Given my circumstance…

And after I stopped being the teary-eyed princess, he pulled away from the hug a tad bit and asked me if I was gonna be okay. I sniffled and shook my head no. he told me he was sorry and that he felt bad for whatever happened to make me cry.

"Hey, My name's Kakeru Manabe, Your name is Yuki Sohma right?" I nodded slowly

"Cool" he said" That means that we will be in student council together next year!" it seemed like he was trying to cheer me up, and it was kind of working.

Kakeru Manabe…he kind of seems like a better match for me then Kyo doesn't he?

Oh well, I don't know what to do Diary…who can I tell all of these things and not get into trouble?

I mean…Manabe –san is so nice to me…fuck, I really don't know what to do Diary.

Why does everything I end up caring about go to waste or backfire or abandon me?

Maybe I should just go to Akito myself and tell her what's going on in my life outside of Sohma-house.

Besides she IS always bugging me to come back to Sohma-house and visit her every once in a while

But then again, if I do Tell Akito what's been going on then Kyo-kun will hate me and so will Haru. And possibly the rest of my family.

Maybe I could tell Hatori what's been going on. I know I can trust him and I know that unless Akito asks directly Hatori wont tell her If I ask him not to

Maybe just maybe if I try hard enough, I can get …no that's worse than asking Hatori to keep quiet. Telling Shigure would be a big mistake on my part.

I seriously have no clue as to what it is I should do right now…maybe I'll get some sleep?

Yeah sleep sounds really good right now.

Sleep and a nice warm long relaxing bath.

That sounds really good. Yep, that what I'm gonna do.

Good night Diary,

Sincerely,

Yuki Sohma


	7. Page 7

Dear Diary,

My bath last night was good, but my sleep wasn't as such.

I had a horrible nightmare. It was about My Kyou-kun and Manabe-san.

They were both tied to a pole on a cliff. But here's the thing, the poles were on two different sides, and based on the distance it would have taken me the same amount of time.

But they were both falling and I could only go after one of them! And then I saw a middle pathway appear…and It was foggy so I walked towards it in curiosity…everything was white after I walked into it. Then I woke up this morning gasping.

And sadly, Kyou-kun wasn't there in my bed to make me feel any better

Anyways, I confronted Kyou today about what happened yesterday, with what happened with Haru?

He said "Don't worry about it Yuki, it's just a temporary thing." And then he walked away from me. I mean, yeah we were at school and everything, but what did he mean by 'temporary'? Was he talking about him and I or him and Haru? I am confused beyond all belief Diary.

Maybe I really should go talk to Manabe-san?

Speaking of which I saw him today too. He was smiling with his friends. He spotted me looking at him and waved for me to go over to him…but I chickened out….and I went to that secluded place again and cried.

Well, what was I supposed to do Diary? I was already worried about my dream, and then what Kyou said, confused me, then people start staring at me again, because Manabe-san decided to talk to me.

I don't understand why anybody would want to be MY friend…I don't understand why anybody would LOVE ME either :'(

That's it, I'm tired of this. I'll be right back Diary, I need to go talk to Kyou.

Okay, I'm back now. Well then Diary,

It turns out that Kyou-kun doesn't really love me. He loves Haru instead. He said that he only told me he loved me to get me to stop obsessing over him…I don't understand how he got that idea in his head… but oh well…..I'm gonna see if Shigure will talk to Akito for me. I Want him to ask her when the fight between Kyou and I will be.

And besides, when I beat Kyou, he'll go into that cage of his, and Haru will go back to Rin.

I know Haru's type, Haru hates people like Kyou, Haru Is either trying to make me or Rin jealous.

Sad thing it worked, but not in the way Haru had planned it…That silly Ox, he really doesn't know what I've got up my sleeve. Two can EASILY play at this game.

But on another note, what should I do about Manabe-san? Or my brother? Oh Kami, I certainly don't know.

And, plus I know Akito will be proud of me for what I plan to happen.

Just like in the old folktale…*insert my evil laughter here*

Well, good night Diary

Sincerely,

Yuki 3


	8. Page 8

Dear Diary,

Today went perfectly according to plan. I told Shigure I wasn't gonna go to school, of course

He asked why, and I simply said, "well, …" I took a breath "people at school are getting on my last nerve as well as the teachers and the stupid student council, and that stupid cat is gonna make me kill him, if he doesn't stop talking for even a second, and I have some errands to run. Besides I'm pretty sure if I need to talk to Akito, it's just a little more important than School. And I'm an A+ student so it won't hurt if I get the papers from Manabe-san and…"

Shigure then cut me off telling me that he got it everybody needed a break sometime but warned me that Akito was a lot more moody than usual. So I should be careful.

So I went to the main house and visited Akito. When I went into the main house, I heard something break and knew it was probably Akito. So I went that way. And Sure enough she was right there, but strangely Ayame-nii was in there with her trying to persuade her that the new kimono was surely one of a kind and then he started going on about how the kimono made her eyes shine and started complimenting her.

When Akito heard all these compliment I saw that her eyes were swelling up with tears, and she started saying…well more like screaming and sobbing put together…."WHY DOES SHIGURE NEVER SAY THESE NICE THINGS, DOES HE NOT LOVE ME IS HE NOT INTERESTED IN ME ANYMORE? WHATS WRONG WITH ME!" and in-between words she would hiccup.

Ayame-nii seemed to look over whelmed and apparently he didn't know how to answer any of these questions. So I came in effortlessly and answered Akito myself, (to start off on Akito's good side…)

"Akito, Maybe, Shigure is working on a story right now."

Akito stopped raging at Ayame-nii and had her eyes on me. And her angry cold hearted face turned into

A nice softer look. One that I've never seen before.

So I proceeded to walk up to her trying to seem calm and gentle. Akito then asked me why I was visiting.

So I told her that I wanted to talk to her about the cat. She straightened up and shooed Ayame-nii out and he closed the door behind him.

So I told her what I had in mind, instead of waiting for the school year to end to have our battle, I was so fed up with hi…IT that I was about ready to kill him. Quite literally. Akito seemed fine with this. The only thing she said when I was done telling her what I had in mind, was "fine but don't soil the family name." I smiled and thanked her.

"Oh, Yuki can wait for a second before you leave I want to tell you something." I nodded.

"Yuki…I'm pregnant…" I smiled softly at her and told her that she should probably tell Shigure that, so he doesn't worry anymore.

Akito nodded and waved for me to leave her alone now.

I obliged and left. You know what Diary, I was pretty okay with how that part of my day went.

Actually, I'm VERY okay with how today went.

On my way out I passed my brother, and anger suddenly shot through me. So I passed him without saying anything, even though I saw him try to reach for my arm. I know, he's probably just fake caring about me. So I went off to find Haru once I left the main house.

And I found him, it wasn't that hard. He seemed upset. I approached him with caution.

"Hey, Haru." Haru turned around and looked at me and glared. I still walked up to him and once he realized it was me, (seeing that I was a little bit away from his sight range) his glare lightened up. And he turned his back to me and sat down.

I sat down next to him and asked what was wrong. He looked at me and said he wanted Kyou dead.

Well Diary, seeing that I was ready to kill Kyou also, I suggested my idea on how to kill Kyou to him.

Haru nodded, but then asked how that would work. And I said, I'll lie to him. Just like in the folk tale.

Haru nodded again and asked how we would get rid of the body. And I said, "we can dig a hole next to my secret base and we can bury him there and he can be used as fertilizer for my new herb garden I have been thinking about making."

Haru's eyes got wide and asked me what was underneath my other garden.

Well, Diary, you know I have a dark past from before I moved to Japan.

I shook my head no and said "that's a story for another day."

So Haru and I got up, it seemed that I made Haru feel at least a little bit better. Damn, Diary I was on a role today, first I get Akito to calm down, then Haru, I really like the way everything is turning out.

But still I need to pin the blame of Kyou's death one somebody….

Well, there was a story on the news a few hours ago how this murderer was going around at night killing teens. THAT'S IT DIARY!

I'll contact this person and tell them that there will be somebody waiting there for them. And I could tell Kyou that Haru was gonna be waiting for him in the back alleyway of this one bar that's not too far away. Only I'll have to get Haru to leave early enough so that the murderer doesn't get him.

Oh Diary this is all working out so perfectly!

OH WOW Diary, it's getting late, I should probably go to bed soon…oh well I'm not done telling you what else happened today!

So when I was done talking with Haru, school was over so I had to go and pick up the papers for the classes I missed today. But first I had to go to the student council room right? Right, so, I went to the student council room, and you'll never guess who I found in there, It was Manabe-san. So I was surprised, who wouldn't be? I mean the kid is in all of my classes.

So he was also shocked to see me there. And he asked me where I was all day? And I told him the truth that I had some errands to run. Of course he then asked what kinds of errands. This annoyed me.

But I didn't mean to be snippy when I said it was my business. So he just said okay and he handed me a stack of papers and said that they were the papers from class today and that he was gonna bring them to my house.

… Diary, do you think he was worried about me? ...hm….now I feel bad for snapping at him.

Oh well, I'll apologize to him tomorrow.

So I took the papers and put them into my messenger bag that I always carry with me.

I thanked him and I pulled out some other paper work, sat down and started to work on it.

Manabe-san walked over to me and asked what I was working on. I told him that I was working on presidential papers for the student council. He nodded his head and stared at me for a while…

…. …. … "WHAT?" I asked…well sort of shouted. He was startled out of it and asked," has anybody ever told you how feminine you look?"

And I must say Diary, which I was not prepared for that question…at all. My eyes were wide and I had a flash back of my father…

"_Yukiko, you look just like your mother. You know that? You look so feminine."_

I snapped out of it because Manabe-san was shaking me asking if I was okay.

I just shook my head and said that I was fine. And that I needed to get back home so papa didn't get mad.

So I put the papers back into my bag and started to fast walk my way home.

Honestly Diary, I didn't mean to talk about papa…I really didn't. now I know Manabe-san is gonna question my sanity.

Well, Diary…maybe it's best I go to bed now.

Sincerely,

Yuki


	9. Page 9

Dear Diary,

Today was good…ish.

Kyou stayed at home sick. Then again he tried to come to school,

But bless little Honda-san's heart, she wanted to take care of him.

Sadly right now I'm walking in the hallway at school.

Yes,

I am making an entry at school, because tonight is gonna be the night. I contacted the killer,

And they said that they would gladly do this. Seeing that I know them…I didn't know that I knew this person. But anyways, hold on... I need to tell the office why Honda-san and Kyou aren't here today.

Okay, I'm back Diary,

Anyways, I called the killer this morning in case you're wondering.

But I think Haru wants Kyou dead as much as I do, because well, let's face it.

Kyou's a player. But he can't technically do anything too wrong with Miss Honda.

I'm also pretty sure that the only person that would be upset would be Ritsu.

Ritsu always has something to ashamed of no matter the occasion.

You know what Diary? It's actually quite easy to write and walk at the same time.

Hooray for peripheral vision right? Ha-ha.

Hmmmm, so, I'm going to the student council room. SHIT! I just remembered,

If Manabe-san see's that I've got you with me, he'll want to read you, but then again, my feelings for him are growing…what do I do Diary?

Oh well. I guess I should put you in my pack for now, and I'll right you later about how Kyou's death went.

Sincerely,

Yuki


	10. Page 10

Page 10

Dear Diary,

Last night went splendidly!

Kyo is now dead, but sadly so is Haru, but you know what, he's a crazy rapist so it's alright. Does it make me a bad person if I fell this way Diary I mean, it's my fault Haru is dead…

Oh well…I'll cry about it later, I have other things to worry about, like trying to tell miss Honda that Kyo was prowling around, and probably stayed out too long. Or perhaps I should probably just try to talk her down. Shigure most likely knows I'm a little bit twisted in the head… Anyways, I also have to go to school and meet up with Manabe-san for lunch so we can help each other figure out our speeches for the student election.

Great~ this is gonna be fun tomorrow. OH!

But I should tell you how Kyo's Death went Diary! Or do you not want to know? This is one of those points in time that I'm glad I close myself off from other people Diary. I'm glad because if people knew how much of a head-case I am, they would probably suspect me in a matter of seconds.

But still…what do you think Diary? Do you think it's a good idea that I killed the killer after he killed Kyo and Haru? Yes, that is why I am home so late. But I'm glad that I got into the bath before Miss Honda could see me. If she saw me, she would have had a heart attack…that would be bad.

Anyways, I really need to get some sleep for tomorrow. Like I said Diary, I get to meet up with Manabe-san and I get to pretend like i don't know what happened that night. That brings up another question there Diary…what will happen when I tell Akito? You know what, seeing that she's pregnant, I don't think I'll bring it up. She could easily hurt me if she really wanted to. You know what?

Even though Akito put me in that dark room, I'm glad she did it. And I don't know why…Oh well, it was better than the treatment I was getting when my parents were alive.

Do you want to know how they died Diary? I bet you do…

Mother died from suicide, on my 6th birthday I believe it was, same with Papa. Ayame-nii was in his private school when this was happening, well for the most part. This was around the time Ayame-nii and I actually got along. But see it all started when I was about three years old. Mother had been accepted into the navy. Papa was outraged with Mother, so he went out drinking and he started doing drugs whenever she was gone. But before that he was the best Papa anyone could ever ask for. But like I said Diary, everything changed when Mother left. Plus Ayame-nii was already gone when this happened, and I wasn't even in school yet. Actually Mother and Papa decided to home-school me.

So whenever Mother would go away for long periods of time, Papa would have me get up, do a daily routine with him of eating, cleaning the house, and then he would send me on my way to do my school work for the day, and if I wasn't done with it by the time he got done with his drugs and bar-jumping, he would beat me until my blood was staining the carpet to the size of a large rain puddle. Papa would then apologize to me, pick me up, bathe me, and put me to bed.

But when he bathed me, he would try different things with my body and ask me if I liked what he was doing, and even if I said no, he would go on saying that I would like it eventually. Then when I would be done bleeding, he would grab the towel that was closest to my body size, Papa would drench it in lemon juice, take me out of the tub for a little bit, and out the towel on the open wounds.

So diary, is it easy to understand why I don't like Lemon juice? But, anyways….

When Papa was done making my body sting worse than it was, he would fill up the tub with bags and bags of ice "_To lower the swelling my dear_" is what he told me. Then he would put me back into the tub and wait until my body temperature dropped 4 degrees less than what it should have been.

After that, Papa would put me in bed. Once my temp. went back to normal, Papa would ask me if I was grateful for him, and that he helped me become a stronger man. I would nod my head yes, because I knew that if I spoke a word without his approval, the he would hurt me again.

But when Papa was pleased with something I did, he would always say that I would get a treat of some kind. But he never gave me anything I really liked or wanted. It was always what Papa wanted. But the only difference from when he was pleased with me, was that he wouldn't make me bleed.

When I learned to write, Papa told me to write a letter to Mother. So I did, I asked how she was holding up, and if she missed us.

I couldn't help it Diary! She was my mother and I missed her!

But seriously, Mother didn't come home for a really long time, and by the time she did come back it was the night of my 6th birthday. But see, in the morning, I woke up to the smell of Bacon and pancakes with confection sugar on top, my favourite breakfast. So I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to start my morning routine with Papa. But he told me that we were gonna do something different today seeing that it was my 6th birthday. I nodded and I looked around unsure what I should do. Papa pointed to the living room and told me to go sit on the couch.

By the way Diary when I was growing up, I lived in a mansion. Mother and Papa were very rich, even if Papa was the worst drinking druggie out there, he still made a lot of money. Although I never did know what he did for a living…oh well I don't really care… anyways,

I went to the living room and sat on the couch just like Papa asked, he brought me a plate and told me to eat it. I did. I loved the food, Papa made the best bacon ever! When I was done, I went to get up to wash my dishes like I regularly do, but Papa stopped me. He took the plate from me, sat it down on the ground, then he pulled out something from behind his back…It was a gift Diary! I hadn't gotten one since my 3rd birthday! I thought that Papa was surely back to normal or that I had just woken up from a horrible nightmare Diary, but I didn't. When I opened the gift I saw something I had never seen before.

I saw a hand gun. My Papa took it from the box and asked me if I knew what suicide was, I shook my head no. I did not know what suicide was at that point in time Diary. I was only 6 and I wasn't allowed to watch television, hell we didn't have a television. Yes, we were filthy stinkin' rich, but Mother and Papa said it killed brain cells.

But anyways Diary, just as fast as things turned good, they turned bad again.

Papa said that he wanted me to do it. Me being only 6 years old, I gave him a puzzled look, Papa then took the time to explain what to do. Me being the crazy smart kid I was, I knew that whatever Papa was saying about having something called a "bullet" cut through the cord that connects your brain to the rest of your body, was not a very good thing, I knew that kind of thing could make it so that they would die. No, at that time I didn't have the slightest clue what death was or what it meant, I only knew that after a while when old souls got too tired in peoples bodies, they would just go to sleep for a long time, then eventually wake up, but not as the same soul.

But that's all I knew at that time.

So when Papa was done explaining to me what suicide was, which I now know is killing yourself, Papa took the gun and put it in his mouth. And showed me what I was supposed to do. No Diary, he didn't kill himself just yet. First he gave me the gun and help me put it inside my mouth, then he wrapped my tiny fingers around what Papa called the trigger. But I saw something he didn't, I saw a little round button that said "**SAFETY**" on the side of it. I pressed it quickly before the trigger was pulled, obviously Diary, I did not die.

And for that Papa got upset with me. He did not hit me, but he started shouting things at me that I have never heard him say before, not even when he was high. This is saying something because he told me a lot of things when he was like that. Papa was saying things like how I was never supposed to be born, and that Mother hadn't written back because she didn't love me enough. Papa also said things like how I was also the reason that he became the way he did. Papa said that if I hadn't been born Mother wouldn't have had to go to war. Mother wouldn't have to go out and fight. Papa said that if I wasn't born, they would have had a better life and that even Ayame-nii didn't want me. That's why he was at his private school. You see Diary, none of this happened here in Japan. It all happened in Italy, a little south of Rome. But little did I know that the time that Papa took to yell at me took about 3 hours. Then Papa said something I'll never forget… "I hate you" that is exactly what he said as he pulled the gun away from me and shot himself.

There was so much blood Diary…I was so scared, I didn't want to be the reasoning for Papa's death I wanted to make my Papa proud of so much that he would do any of those scary things to me anymore. Diary, I was so scared, I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. Almost as if fate couldn't have answered me any sooner, guess who walked through the door? It was Mother and Ayame-nii. Mother walked in first then Ayame-nii. They peered through the kitchen door, and then they walked into the living room where they saw my back side, they walked in a little bit more and saw Papa. Mother started towards Papa and shrieked. Asking what the hell I did. I didn't know what to do, so I just started crying telling her that I was sorry, I didn't mean to. I would repeat myself Diary, for every time she asked. Now that I look back I know that it was a rhetorical question and my Mother didn't hear me over both of our tears. Then I turned around and tried to run up to Ayame-nii for a hug sense I couldn't get one from Mother seeing that I would have turned into a rat. But still I ran to my Ayame-nii. But at the time I called him "Ameyee" sense I couldn't pronounce his name at all.

Anyways, I ran to him, but he turned around away from me and started to walk outside of the house. Little did I know that Mother had gotten some kind of fire started on the house. Our house burned to the ground that night. Only Ayame-nii and I made it out of that house alive. So, that is how my Mother commits suicide then Diary.

Ayame-nii picked me up and put me in his car, he drove us to the airport, and got us on a plane to Japan that very night before the press and politics got out to where we used to live. But when we got to Japan, Ayame-nii left me…I went to grab his sleeve to keep him with me. But he shook me off and turned away. He abandoned me Diary…

I was alone in the air port for about 4 hours before a man with black hair found me. He spoke Japanese. I didn't understand a word he said. But there was also a girl with him, around his age. I was confused to every extent of the word and started to cry. The girl started speaking in different languages, I couldn't tell what she was saying until, she said "Are you from Italy?" in Italian. I understood her! Diary I was so happy! And she spoke softly to me, she was so gentle towards me. I nodded yes, and she tried to hug me…naturally I jumped a little bit. The man with black hair spoke to the kind girl and she nodded to him. Then she asked me if my parents were anywhere around. I shook my head no and told her that they were dead.

Surprisingly enough she did not hurt me Diary, and I think the last thing she said to me Diary, before we left the airport, was "My name is Kana, you can stay with me okay?"

So yeah, that's what happened and how I got here Diary. Well,

I 'm gonna get some sleep now.

Sincerely,

Yuki


	11. Page 11

Page 11

Dear Diary,

Today went pretty well. Who knew Manabe-san could cook!

Anyways, people all around the school were crying, especially Momiji. Momiji had to leave his class because of how hard he was crying. So uhm~ yeah….Momiji wouldn't let go of me. Scarily enough Momiji is in my math class now…who knew this kid could do calculus… But yeah….So Momiji was clinging on me up until lunch time.

Lunch was about the time Momiji went to Miss Honda. He hung on her without turning into his other form. Anyways, when Momiji went away, Manabe-san decided to sneak up on me and wrap one of his arms around my shoulders. I jumped 3 feet outside of my flesh. He laughed at me, as he did with the rest of his friends.

So now I have a new question Diary, does he consider me one of his friends? Oh well. I will ask him whenever the topic comes up, or maybe he'll tell me without me asking, like he did earlier today. I was just about to ask him what he had for a speech and then he dramatically brought me away towards the bathroom…all of my fan-girls stared at me. Great~~~~~~~~~

But anyways he just took out his speech and showed it to me. Along with everything considered, it was a pretty good speech I think. It said something along the lines about how he would help make sure that the population in the bathrooms during the passing time, something about better food/drink selection, and something called a "Spirit Week" once every few months or so.

I liked the fact that he was thinking outside of the box, with trying something we have never done before, but I also really liked the fact that when I looked at his speech it seemed like he put really good intentions in there. Not to mention Manabe-san has great charisma. He kinda reminds me of Nii-san. But anyways, Manabe-san is a pretty sweet guy, and he's REALLY HOT! Manabe-san told me which locker was his in the locker room, and asked me why he hadn't seen me go in there.

Please Diary, keep in mind that this happened after we were done exchanging each other's speeches. Which, he really liked mine as well. Although he did tell me it sounded kind of plain, and that maybe I could try and sat something like how instead of saying that I personally don't like something, I could say that I would make sure that certain things won't happen anymore, and when I take something away, I could add something like for example how he added in the more food and drink selection, I could do something like making sure our food is real . instead of that crap cheese that is only a few molecules away from being rubber .

Yeah, that tends to disgust me a lot. So Manabe-san helped me out with that. Then he said something about how he would like to hang out with me sometime, outside of school. I don't know what he was trying to say though Diary. It could be that he wants to get to know me better, it could be that he wants to piss off my fan-club, it could be that he likes me… Oh my Kami, what if he does like me Diary? What should I do? Should I dress up classy, Regular, or Relaxed! Fuck Diary, I'm not sure what to do!

Or instead of dressing up, do you think I should dress down? Just a simple tee and pants? Oh~ but I don't look good in tee-shirts…They look weird on me…But maybe I could wear my Chinese style shirt with my green pants? Damnit! I don't know what he likes! Should I let him do the choosing, or should I take control? Well it's not very like me to take control except for when I am upset by something… Hm hm silly Kyo-kun, he didn't know just how far I was intending to go. Oh well, it just goes to show that he didn't and doesn't deserve my love and affection But still…

Oh hold on Diary, I hear foot step coming this way…

…

…

…

Okay it's not any good news, but Shigure came upstairs and told me that Akito was thrilled with what I had done. Only Shigure didn't know what Akito was talking about and asked me to explain. I told him that it was between Akito and I. When he heard that, he got a little bit frustrated with me, but then he put the pieces together in his mind. First, I had some errands to run, Kyo got sick, I made a phone call to somebody, I took Haru out, both boys turn up dead in an alley way, and then Akito calls…His face looked elongated and more pale than usual. Then all Shigure said was, don't let this happen again, then he left.

But Miss Honda should be home soon, I should probably get started on my homework…did I already do it? Hold on Diary, I'm gonna go check…

Yeah I already did it. Well, I guess that I get to write for a little bit longer Diary.

*sigh* I'm glad that the damned cat is out of my way. Now I can get back to the way my life was without him. …I think I hear something Diary…It sounds like Miss Honda just got home but hold on I hear another voice, and it's not Shigure's…oh shit…it's Rin's voice… What in the world is Rin doing here? Oh well, you know what? No, I would like to know why Rin is here…I'm gonna go listen for a while Diary, I'll get back to you tomorrow Diary.

Sincerely,

Yuki


	12. Page 12

Page 12

Dear Diary,

When I wrote to you last, I told you about how I heard that Rin was here…well, let's just say that I did not know that Miss Honda was a lesbian. Well at least that's what I expect, either that or she is experimenting…I am not sure. But anyways today wasn't the best, but it did turn around when Manabe-san asked me when I would like to hang out. Seeing that I don't have a job, I told that whenever I am free except for after school today.

Today is when I made the herb garden, and I had the perfect fertilizer. By the way Diary I should probably tell you what's underneath my regular garden… it's my parent's ashes. Yeah, Ayame-nii said that sense I killed them I should have that reminder. As I do every day, but I think he has either forgotten that or he is hiding the fact that he hates me. I am not quite sure.

But today at school, people started to cool down about Kyo and Haru. Even Momiji is starting to feel better.

But uhm~ oh! Today I got to hang out with Manabe-san a little bit today after school! He bought me a crepe! Oh my, those things are so good! You know… now that I come to think about it Diary, I'm beginning to like him even more than I did before! Do you think I should talk to Nii-san before I meet up with Manabe-san? I don't know Diary…

Maybe I should just stop worrying about him…

Oh Diary, I really do wish you could talk back to me…

Well, I'm gonna go to bed now before I start to worry too much about it,

Sincerely,

Yuki


	13. Page 13

Page 13

Dear Diary,

Alright, so last night I left on a short note. But tonight, I will not!

Okay, so today, when I went to school, Manabe-san was waiting for me at the entrance. I was a little confused, so I made a face…However I had made the face unknowingly. This made Manabe-san give me a weird look. "What?" I ask him, and he just smiles at me. Can you believe that Diary? He JUST smiled at me . But you know what?

He made up for it by letting me know that today was Saturday…You see, I did not know that Diary. I did not know that today was Saturday… Oh well.

But uhm~ OOOHHH now I'm getting nervous what the heck Diary? I almost never get nervous when I'm telling you how my day went. It's probably Puberty fucking with me again… Ha-ha get it? Fucking with me? I'm talking about Puberty…yeah It's not very funny I know .

But anyways, Manabe-san pointed that out to me, and then I noticed that he was wearing every-day clothing. So, Manabe walked me back home so I could get dressed into regular day clothing. Then I got really nervous cause Diary he came into our house as well and almost picked you up to read! O.O

Yeah, I told him he shouldn't read it and that, he probably wouldn't like it. Sorry Diary… "Why won't I like it?" he asked me, when he was referring to you. So I told him that you were about my life. Manabe-san's eye's got wide after that and his face lit up, then he laughed…He laughed at me…Then he said "This is your Diary?" apparently he thought this situation was absolutely hilarious… Guess what I said Diary? I told him that you were more of a book that I wrote my thoughts down into, Kind of like a journal. I really am sorry Diary… But then he just nodded, stopped his laughter, hugged me, and whispered into my ear "It's alright Yuki, I promise I won't tell anyone." Then he pulled away just a tiny bit and put a kiss on my forehead…HE KISSED ME! KYA!...

You know what Diary? Sometimes I think I act just like a girl… Is it bad that I find that something to be ashamed of? Oh well, I need to tell you what else Manabe-san did to me today!

After I shooed him out of my room Diary, it kind of took me a while to figure out what I wanted to wear exactly. Little did I know that I was in there for about 15 minutes when Manabe-san knocked on my bedroom door asking if I needed help… well, yes and no….I answered him something like that. But anyways, he came in and saw that I had different shirts laid out on the bed, and different pairs of pants sprawled out on my desk chair. Manabe-san then asked me which shirt was most comfy, So, I pointed to the one I found most comfortable which was a black over shirt with a rose embroidered on the back. Manabe-san's face lit up a little bit again! What the hell?

Guhg, anyways, Manabe-san then asked which pants were most comfy, and I pointed to a pair of Tripp pants that were a little bit baggy, and had chains on the legs and the seam of them were a brick red colour. Manabe-san then nodded his head and he said "Good, now get dressed." But he had a smile on his face, so I knew that he wasn't trying to be mean, and plus he was kind of giggling at me. Or at least I think he was.

But anyways, I got dressed and put on a few necklaces, my gel bracelets, and I put on my eye-liner. Now Diary, when I say I put a few necklaces on I only mean about 2 to 3 necklaces. When I walked out of the room, Manabe-san stepped back and looked me up and back down, although he didn't move his head at all…Was he checking me out Diary? I think that counts…

So we left the house and then Manabe-san took me out to go see a movie. He asked me if I knew what kind of Movies I liked, and I shook my head no. You see Diary, because I don't get out much, and I don't typically watch movies, I don't know what kind of movies I like. But Manabe-san understood, strangely enough, nobody has ever understood me, or even tried. Well, except Miss Honda. But she's a whole 'nother story…

So he brought me to a movie that he said he thought I would like, but because he worked there he could get us in for free! So the Movie we saw was called "The Adventures of Tin Tin" I thought it was a pretty good movie Then Dairy,

He took me out to dinner! Holy shit Diary! He took me to guess what kind of restaurant? Italian… but you know what? It's good to have some food I haven't had in a long time. When we were done eating he asked me if I wanted dessert. Well, I don't have a very big liking for sweets, and when I do, I tend to be rather picky. I told him this, nervous of what he would say and or do. He once again nodded, and then he said "Just try one thing with me, and if you don't like it then I won't make okay?"

Okay, you know how earlier I said he was charismatic? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was using it to his advantage, because I said yes. I told him I would try it. I DON'T TRY ANYTHING! I USUALLY JUST STAY AT HOME, WHERE I KNOW I AM SAFE! But anyways, his face got even brighter, and he was trying to pronounce the dessert he wanted. I asked him if he needed any help "Nah-nah, it's okay, I got it." He said a little unsure of himself I think and then I took the small menu he was looking at and read "_Tiramisu" _He looked at me with big eyes. I think it was shock. He asked me how I could read it so wonderfully and I told him that I'm Italian. That I was born in Italy and spent the first 6 years of my life there. But because I said this with ease, just as our waitress was coming by, she decided to impress me… Hah! I laughed on the inside as she tried to say some things, but all she really ended up saying was "My name is Mira, and I eat dogs" although I am pretty sure she was trying to tell me that she liked my necklaces. I figure this because she pointed at them while she was talking. I nodded to her, gave her my thanks, and then Manabe-san spoke up, "Can we get a piece of that spongy coffee-cake please? To share? "

She nodded and quickly walked away. Manabe asked me what she said, and if she really knew what she was saying. I smiled at him, shook my head and started laughing a little, I guess you could have called it a chuckle Diary. But I answered the question I knew was coming next, and I told him what she said to me. Manabe-san found that so funny he almost fell out of the booth he was laughing so hard. But oh my god Diary, when I told him what she was trying to say, the poor guy really did fall over. Not exactly out of the booth, but he fell over, and he was holding his gut. Thankfully he was done by the time our waitress came back. She gave us our dessert, wished us a good night, and said that this one was on her. Manabe-san was happy that he just got a free meal and coffee cake. And while I ate my portion of the cake, he would smile at me from time to time. Before we left, I left a tip on the Table for our waitress.

When we got outside, it was still light outside, so Manabe-san took me to the fair that was in town. And guess who we saw there? We saw Minegawa-senpai.

As soon as I saw her I stopped walking and I was as stiff as a board. Manabe-san noticed and he asked me what was wrong. And Diary, I couldn't help it I growled when I said "I hate that bitch" underneath my breath. Thankfully I didn't have to tell him who I was talking about. He knew EXACTLY who I was talking about. He then proceeded to whisper into my ear that he had a plan. Okay….I guess he knew what he was doing, but Oh my god Diary, just as soon as Minegawa-senpai started to walk over to me, Manabe-san dipped me right in front of her and started kissing me! HOLY SHIT I FELT LIKE I WAS ON FIRE DIARY!

I was glad that Manabe-san didn't try putting his tongue in my mouth, because then I wouldn't know what to do… But yeah, it still felt good / But I didn't think he was gonna actually kiss me. And oh my god Diary, I melted in his arms and I wrapped my own around him. Hel, I totally forgot that Minegawa was right there. Until she stomped off anyways.

I think Manabe-san was surprised I kissed back because he asked me if I liked that in a more husky voice than usual. And, I must admit, it turned me on. I loved it and I wanted more. So I nodded gently and looked away, because let's face it…I was embarrassed!

Manabe-san then took me into the closest restroom and OOOHHHHH~~~~ Diary, I don't know if you want me to get into it! But He told me that he wanted to tell me something. In case I hadn't got it already. Which I was surprised by what he was about to say because I thought he was just acting out there. He told me that he has been thinking for a while and that he wanted to get to know be better than as a friend. And then he started kissing me again, and he ran his tongue against my lips asking for entrance, Frankly Diary, I gave it to him! I let him in. But then he pulled away asking If I was okay, I then had to explain to him that I've never French kissed anyone before. Not even Haru and that was saying something!

He smiled at me again and asked if it was okay to try something, I said sure, and I did not expect him to put his hands up my shirt and holy fuck Diary, his hands were FREEZING! Then he started to play with my nipples Diary, and oh my god~~~~ I melted again. But the more he played with me I started to moan, louder and louder.

"Shhhhhh~~~ Yuuuki, You'll give us away." He said this and giggled a little bit. As I tried to muffle my moans, he kept trying new things, and every time I jumped he would stop and ask if I was okay, then he kept making me feel so good Diary, but sadly, it got to the point where it was dark outside already…I wonder how many hours we spent in there… oh well, but tonight I think ended wonderfully, maybe I can meet up with him tomorrow as well?

Oh Diary, thing's are finally starting to look up for me now aren't they?

Well, I'm gonna go to bed now

Sincerely,

Yuki


	14. Page 14

Dear Diary,

Sometimes…it feels like I'm never good enough…but when I walk to school, in the peaceful forest, the sight of the sun rising from the mountains, and the chirping birds, always calm me down, and makes me wonder if somebody actually cares about me for me. Then, it slightly reminds me of Honda-san and her warm caring smile, the one that my mother has never given me.

When I see Manabe-kun, granted he reminded me of my older brother the first time I met him, but the longer I spend time with him, and the more I see of him, he reminds me of those sweet birds in the morning, and the sun above the mountains in the far off distance. I never actually thought about how he affected me until now.

You know what Diary, it's been a while since I wrote to you last. I have a lot to catch you up on! Anyways, Manabe-san and I are going to announce our being together soon. I know, it's a bit of a shocker, but I love him, and he loves me. I just hope my brother doesn't find. My kami he'll go crazy and start talking about wedding things and lingerie…ew~ well…yeah, no. I will never wear it. Not by my brothers hands. That would be just weird. Wearing lingerie that my brother made? Yeah GROSS!

Anyways, I can't wait till the end of the school year! Manabe-san and I will advance to our senior year and everyone will have to respect us in school, therefore if anyone wants to talk smack about us, we're gonna find out about it within minutes and fix the issue I know that everything will be alright. Even if Akito finds out, when Manabe-san and I graduate from school completely I will go to college and Akito will have nothing to say about it! Speaking of Akito, she's due next month. It's twins, we don't know what the mix of genders will be. Akito hasn't said anything about it. But I'm sure Shigure will be proud.

Shigure is such a weirdo, I don't know how Akito fell in love with him. Oh well it's her decision, not mine. Besides love is love when it all comes together. That's why it'll be alright when Kakeru and I declare our love to the school or well, not exactly declare, but we'll identify as a unit, or as a couple. I wonder if people ar4e still sensitive about the deaths of Haru and Kyou.

Well, I figure Momiji will still be sensitive about it for a short while longer. But like I previously said, everything'll be alright. Right? I think it will be.

Actually I'm pretty sure everything will play out the way it's supposed to.

Oh hold on a bit diary, I hear a knocking at my door. I'll write back as soon as I get the chance.

Sincerely,

Yuki.

* * *

SOrry I haven't updated in a while, I had a major writers block! . anyways, school is ending soon, so i'll have more time to write then.


	15. Page 15

Dear Diary,

I know it's been a while since I last wrote, just like the time before.

But, when I last time, Manabe-kun was at my door step and was crying, had Machi (who I found out to be his little sister) in his arms, and had her blood covering him. The poor thing didn't know what to do. Now you already know that I'm no good with medical things, except for when it comes to my gardens, so Shigure and I called Hatori. He made it there in about 15 minutes even though he doesn't like treating people outside of the family, and Akitos being pregnancy timing isn't perfect.

Thankfully Kureno is at her side for the mean time, so she doesn't kill anybody, or break anything. Actually, now that I think about it, Akito is probably puking over a toilet right now. Doesn't that happen to pregnant women? They puke over the smallest scents, and are really sensitive in the mornings? I dunno. But back to Manabe-kun, he was really upset, who wouldn't be? Okay I re-phrase that, who outside of the Sohma family wouldn't be?

Anyways, we had Machi-san laying down on our couch and Manabe-kun was pacing. I've never seen him like this, I know we just got together and all, but still…I would never be able to imagine the sadness he feels, or how he'll deal with it when we go back to school? OI wonder how everything is gonna play out.

When Hatori got to the house he immediately started looking Machi-san over and checking her pulse and more doctor-ish things to her. He bandaged her cleaned her up, handed Manabe-kun a small bottle of pain med's for when she wakes up. Manabe-kun listened very intently to Hatori as he told him what to do and how to do it.

I just sat there and watched, not really knowing what to do except for while Hatori was working on her, I was holding Manabe-kun's hand trying to get him to take some deep breaths and calm down a little bit so he could think straight and not kill the person who did this to Machi-san.

"Kakeru, sweet-heart it'll be alright" I whispered to him. "Just breathe, I know you don't want to hear that right now, but it'll help you in the long run I promise" he kinda gave me this look, it wasn't anger or being upset at me, or even sadness. It felt like he was trying to say "thank you for the effort, but that really doesn't help right now" without his words. I got the point nodded my head and lead him outside and we looked up at the starts until Hatori said it was okay to come back in. Yadda Yadda Yadda I already said he gave manabe-kun some pills for Machi-san and suggested that he go straight home.

Thankfully Shigure put a hand on Manabe's shoulder and told him he could stay the night, and that Machi could sleep in Honda-san's room and be away from the "Oh-so-dirty-rotten-spoiled-yucky-nightmarish-boy-toys" That is exactly what Shigure said, and for once I am happy with his absurdness, he made Manabe chuckle, and my Nabe-kun was able to sleep in my room, in my bed with me. By the way, Shigure doesn't know that so stay quiet about it okay diary?

Still, it was a pretty eventfull night. I wonder how Machi-san got all bloody. I'm sure that Manabe-kun will tell me, and if he doesn't I'll ask him in about a month's time? Do you think that's reasonable diary? A month's time? Well, it's not exactly my business, and I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or something like that. I want to be the best boyfriend Manabe will ever have. I hope he does the same for me. God I love that boy!

But I still worry about him. I know right now is not the time to be worrying, and if he notices, I'll just say I'm having bad dreams, or having a bit of trouble sleeping. Which is hard to believe if you've ever woken me up. Honda-san can vouch for me. When I fall asleep, I sleep like a rock and I don't get up.

For now I guess I'll do my daily things, like checking on my gardens, making sure that everything is nice and organized, and perfectly circular….I don't like squares. They're all pointy and can hurt people. Or is that triangles? Hmm…wow, I think manabe-kun is starting to rub off on me. Maybe I should get a nice warm small cup of chamomile tea and try to go to bed. Perhaps doodle a little bit. I dunno, but I'll figure it out.

You know diary, I'm really happy that I get to write all my thoughts down to you, and you don't judge me. For anything I do. But anyways~ Time to go to bed Diary, sweet dreams.

Sincerely,

Yuki

-It's been a while since I updated I know, but school is out and I need to pace myself with my other projects I have going on. DO you guys think I should do a Kyou's Diary before he died and tie it into this story? I'm not exactly sure. Oh well. Thank you guys for staying with me, when it takes forever just to upload a small chapter, and leaving the coolest reviews ever.


	16. Page 16

Dear Diary,

Okay, so Manabe-kun spent the night last night, and it took me a while to fall asleep, but ooohhh he did the sweetest thing in his sleep, while I was writing to you, he wrapped his arms around m, you know, like in a snuggling fashion.

It was so sweet! But then again, his sister is at a point near death I think. So it's understandable that he would want somebody to hold. After all, all those years I spent without having someone to hold when I was upset, well somebody I cared about.

But it was so nice Diary, I tell ya, it feels really good being able to be needed by somebody, when you grow up thinking that you're not wanted, or needed by anybody, or anything for that matter. Growing up with the thought of being worthless, and nothing, it just completely goes away when you finally get something that important.

I mean, to a normal person, a hug may not be that big of a deal, communication isn't noticed for what it really is. But…when you have a curse, or some kind of illness where you need to be quarantined, not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. You can't let anyone in. You can want it with everything you have, but there is a slim to nothing chance that it'll actually happen. So when that very slim chance does happen to well, happen, it feels amazing.

No wonder people enjoy it so much.

So when I put you away for the night, I wiggled down under the covers so just my head was sticking out, and Manabe-kun kept his arms around me! It was just gaaahhh~! Oh Diary, it was just amazing what happened, there are simply no words for me to describe it!

Well, If I were normal there might be, but I just guahhh~~~~!

I fell asleep in his arms fairly quickly when I put you away for the night. I can't stress how many positive feeling I was feeling, every new emotion, and every new sensation! Oh! I'm getting a bit flustered just thinking about it!

Sigh~ last night was good Diary. However when we woke up, it wasn't the best, granted Manabe-kun gave Machi-san some of her medicine, and he sat down on the couch emotionally spent. So I shortly followed him, and joined him on the couch and decided to put on some cartoons, trying to cheer him up a little. Sadly that didn't work, and he just wanted to sit in silence for a little while. I nodded and snuggled up to him. He wrapped his arms around me and turned us so that he was snuggling me instead, his head buried in the crook of my neck. He closed his eyes, and I felt something wet, tears.

I kept one of my hands rubbing his back, while I put the other on the back of his head, stroking his hair gently, knowing that, that was something that calmed me down when I needed somebody, or when I was hurt and Hatori was taking care of me.

After a few moments passed he let it all come out, the poor thing was sobbing his heart out. It made me think of what my brother would do if this kind of thing ever happened to me. He would probably just say "Yuki who?" just like he did when we first moved here. Or something along the lines of "oh darn, now I don't have a model for my new dress" then he would call out for Shigure and Nii-san would be happy again.

But at the moment in time, it was about Manabe-kun, not me. Sheesh, I'm really self centered aren't I Diary? I'm pretty sure I am.

I noticed Shigure come into the living room , and he didn't say anything, he just went into the kitchen where Honda-san was making tea and some breakfast. When Manabe-kun stopped crying, Honda-san brought the breakfast out to us, it was a small breakfast but a breakfast none the less. Very nice of her, but then again, Honda-san is always nice, even though she doesn't ask for anything in return, but that's also something she does so much that it makes her sick sometimes.

We all still love her though.

It took Manabe a few minutes to notice that there was food in front of him. He started picking at it slowly, and nibbling on certain things, I ate as well, probably just as slow as him, because I was tired. So when we were done eating, Shigure announced that we (meaning Manabe and I) should go shopping to go get him some non bloody clothes. Naturally he wanted to bring him to Nii-san's shoppe, and I refused. But Manabe-kun got curious and wanted to go to Nii-san's shoppe. So we did.

Honda-san stayed home though so she could take care of Machi-san.

So when we got there, Manabe has a small smile on his face wanting to laugh, because I tried to tell him it wasn't a regular clothing store, and of course he listened to Shigure. Shigure saying something obnoxious and annoying. As is his nature.

So Shigure went in first greeting Nii-san, and his co-worker. I was hoping that he would calm them down a little bit, Manabe-kun being in the state of mind that he's currently in. but NO! he just riled them up more than they needed to be, and when they saw me, it didn't help or change anything. Well actually no, I did change something…they got even more riled up! Geeze, just when you think you know a guy. Psh! Yeah right!

But uh~ anyways, Nii-san made Manabe-kun laugh, and as it turns out they get along very well.

For example, you know how when sometimes if you know a person for long enough you already know what they're gonna do, and what with who? You kinda know but then again you kinda don't, like deh ja vu, but it's not?

Does that make sense Diary? I'm not sure it does…Oh well I know what I mean and that's what is important. Okay so after a while of the kids playing around, we got to some actually work, well Nii-san got to some actual work and started taking Manabe-kun's measurements. And in not even an hour's time, Manabe-kun had a new skin tight t-shirt, which was an ashy grey kind of a colour, and some tan cargo, pants. And ohh~ Diary, Nii-san really out-did himself with this I think, he made Manabe's muscles stand out and eek! He was so hot! Manabe-kun I mean. Oh Kami! It looked amazing on him! Actually no, amazing is an understatement for how good Manabe-san looked!

Sigh~ it was actually pretty fun. Until Nii-san asked me my opinion. But thankfully Manabe cut in for me and said "I already know he thinks I'm beautiful!" Of course he said this in a joking kind of way, but it's true. Manabe-kun really is a beautiful human being.

I'm happy he chose me to be with 3

SO yeah~, after all this was over and done with, we left Nii-san's store, just about everyone was staring at him. Girls, Boys, even grown Men and Women! When he finally noticed he wrapped his arm around me, and I scootched a little closer to him, and we walked like we were together. Which we are, but I'm a little scared about what people think of me and how they perceive me.

Then he whispered in my ear "Kiki~ it's okay, you're fine. Just breathe nice easy breaths, be glad that we're together. Think about that if you're so nervous okay love?" I nodded in response and rested my head on his shoulder as we were walking, and I closed my eyes thinking about what Manabe-kun had just said. I was happy we were together, and that nobody else could have him but me.

After a while we got back to the house, and we saw Honda-san sitting on the roof crying to herself looking up at the sky.

She's still sad about Kyou…

Then she went back inside quickly when she heard Machi-san start coughing.

We went inside, not asking any questions, and got settled in the living room. Shigure wanted to talk about something serious. So when we all sat down "alright boys, I'm gonna keep this in between us for right now, but Manabe, if you don't have anywhere to go, you are more than welcome to live in our house. You are more than welcome to stay with us until you find a place of your own. But I will have to tell the head Sohma about this. I don't think she'll be thrilled, but she still needs to know."

Manabe-kun and I both nod understanding fully. Or at least to the best of our abilities. Shigure was being pretty simple and to the point.

By the way Diary, by the time we got home, it was way past dinner time, and very late. So we all headed to bed. But when Manabe and I got up to my room…

"Hey Kiki, you know I saw that right?" "Saw what?" I asked innocently.

He laughed lightly at me "you know, that little blush covering your entire face and the lump growing in your pants, when I was getting dressed in my clean clothes at Aayame's shoppe."

Apparently my blush came back because he giggled at me shaking his head.

"What?!" I was not expecting anything at the moment, I wasn't thinking.

"N-Nothing happened and I have no idea what you're talking about Manabe-san!"

"Yuki, there isn't anybody in here except us, you don't have to act like that. Or are you just doing that to be cute?"

_He's teasing me._ I thought. But nope, he meant it.

Oh god he's waking up Diary I gotta let you go on an early note!

Swwet dreams!

Sincerely,

Apparently my new name is Kiki


	17. Help the Author

Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated. I had way too much happen, and now I'm back. I should be a lot better about updates now. My life is doing about 20 times better now:) . So~ yeah, I should update here again pretty soon. Please, don't hesitate to give my any ideas, I get writers block really easy. What do you guys think I should do next?


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Diary,

Last night my entry to you was cut a little short because Manabe was waking up.

Oh my goodness diary! I had to put you on my bedside table and act like I was just about to lie down.

But he caught me! Oh~~ and what he did next diary is just so unbelievable!

He pulled me down closer to him and kissed me. He kissed me the same way he kissed me in that bathroom at the fair! So gentle, yet controlling. But it wasn't a bad kind of controlling. He knew what he was doing, that was for sure!

He grabbed my hands with one hand and he slid his other hand down my back to grab my Oh! Yup. He grabbed my butt. That amazing little devil that he is. But it doesn't stop there diary!

He kept his hand on my butt and he started french kissing me! EEK! He's so good!

Is that just because I don't know what I'm doing? Is it because I haven't had this experience since I was little? _"Oh Yuki~ you look just like your mother did...hmhmhm who's a good little __**girl**__ Yuki? Yes, you are, you're such a good little __**girl**__ for papa aren't you?""Yes papa, I'll be your good...__**girl**__...yes papa. I'll be good for you." "Shut your mouth you little shit! I did not say you could speak!" "No papa! I'm sorry! Papa~! Please papa I'm sorry!"_

I don't remember when at what point I had my flashback diary, but when I came out Kakeru was looking at me extremely worried. "Kiki? Love, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He wiped his thumb under my eyes and held my shirtless self to his own.

God diary. I didn't know what had gotten into me. But, he just held onto me. I guess I was crying. "Yuki, please tell me. What did I do wrong?" I looked at him and it took me a moment to remember where I was. "I'm so sorry Yuki, I swear I didn't mean to hurt you." I blink a few times at look into his eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong Manabe-san. I promise you, it's not your fault." I spoke quietly to him and looked away not really looking at anything. "Then why are you crying my love?" He held me close and turned my face towards him. He touched his forehead to my own. I put my head into the crook of his neck and I start crying again.

"Yuki? Lovely, is there anything I can do for you?" I shook my head no and I held onto him. "Okay love." Low an behold he stroked the back of my head and held me, much like Nii-san did before we moved here. _"It's okay Yun-Yun, papa's just a little crazy right now. Y'know what Yun-Yun? I'll make you a strawberry crepe in the morning hm? How's that sound? I can even make you a new pair of pants and shirt if you's like?" "mhm..." "Okay then, that's what'll happen. I love you Yuki, don't ever forget that, okay?" "Okay Amayee. I wont."_

Oh Diary, I kinda wish things were different. But we all have a part to play don't we?

Oh Diary, I'm crying on you again. I'm sorry. I wish I could be better...

Goodnight Diary,

Sincerely,

Yun-Yun


End file.
